Painful Memories...

Okay, I'll admit it! Sometimes my mom is right! I love her...(somedays) but shhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Don't tell her!!! hahaha! Sometimes I think she is so not fair! We have actually fought on the couch. Like I bit, pulled her hair, pinched and kicked her.... I never understood why she never quit fighting. In my mind I was stupid, worthless, unknown! I was hated. I was a RAD child. (Reactive Attachment Disorder) I never learned how to love... until now...

In case she is reading this, I'll say some nice sweet things about her... just so I won't get lectured!!! teehee! My mother does NOT know the words NO! and normal. You tell her no she can't do it then she's going to do it! You ask why can't she act like your normal "Well, Honey, Don't you look darling" mothers, she'll ask why does she need to be a setting on a dryer!!! Have you ever heard a little kid say "Your not my boss, mommy is!" Hahaha! That explains my mama!!!!

Okay! I'll get serious!!! We all have hard times right? Read this poem: (It is an old poem.)

Broken

I am torn into

pieces.

Broken inside...

My eagerness dies...

My happiness disappears...

Dread fills my heart...

Fear is here...

I look at what is left

of me...

Nothing...

In reality I am as burden

to my family...

Here I am...

Torn into pieces...

I know they were right...

I am a mistake...

Tonight, you won't see the

tears I cry...

I've told you everything...

I even opened up my heart...

I let you in...

Now what's left of me... is who

I pretend to be...

I am broken inside...

My life is slipping by...

I am only 13! I can't die yet!

I am barely holding on...

I am an outcast...

A burden...

Once again...

I am broken inside...

MNJ

Kinda sad huh? It hurts to be hurting. Sometimes it hurts to cry or even talk about what's wrong. You have had a thorn or a sticker in your foot or hands right? It hurts really bad... It hurts to pull it out and even is a tad sore later. Your painful memories stick to you like a thorn in your heart. It isn't gonna come out until you decide your gonna pull it out. It hurts! I know! Let God hold your hand while you pull it out.

Will you do me a favor? I want you to look up this song(z)

"Who Am I?" (Casting Crowns)

"Alive" (Toby Mac)

"New York to L.A" (Pressplay)

I know this is an awfully short post, but I pray you learned something!!! Don't forget to look them song or songs or songzzzzz up! Thanks,

MNJ

"Whoever said life was dull as obviously never met God" - MNJ

Mama's Hands

I saw you hide your hands

in line, Behind that pretty lady,

I noticed too,

hers were soft and white-

immaculate from care.

But Ma, I say, it's no disgrace

to have workin' hands like you,

and had she lived the life you have,

she'd have hands just like it too!

But her hands have never
hauled in wood, or worked
in God's good earth.

They've never felt the bitter
cold, or chopped ice for
waitin'' stock.

They've never doctored sick
ones, or dressed a poor goat's hoof.

They've never pulled a hip-locked
calf, or carried feed into the barn.

They've probably never patched blue jeans,
Or had worn ol' shirts to iron.

They've never touched a young'n,
Or caressed a fevered head.

With hands so gently laid on
him, prayin'.

They've never scrubbed a milker,
Or washed a milk cow's udder.

They've never guided with those hands,
a child who's lost the way.

They've never cooked for us hungry hordes,
Or washed dishes day by day.

They've never peeled peaches,
Nor have they canned.

They've never worn a blister,
Or had calluses to show.

For all they've done for others,
and the kindness I know.

So you see, my dearest Mama-

Yours are hands of Love,
And I bet God will notice when
He greets you from Above.

-MNJ


 

Have You Ever...?

To Some,

 This poem

Is meaningless.

To others,

It hits a nerve

And tears fall.

Have you ever,

looked around

and  wondered if

the people around you

are like robots?

Have you ever,

Thought that your

life is a endless

dream?

Have you ever,

Wondered if God was

really  Real?

Have you ever,

been so overwhelmed with grief

You cry until you can't breathe?

Have you ever,

felt like you are the only one

who is lost in this big World?

Have you ever,

Cried out "Why me?"

And no one replied?

As anger, resentment, grief and regret

consumes you...

The world is stuck on go.

It zooms past,

leaving you in the dust.

Have you ever?

Have you ever,

trusted someone so much,

that they turn and walk away?

During our teenage years,

Satan has control.

Let us take a stand,

And put Satan

where he belongs.

Not in our hearts,

But in Hell.

Let's stand and laugh.

In his ugly face!

Ha! Ha!

Have you ever?

Have you ever,

ran until you couldn't

take another step?

Have you ever,

felt unloved

when you have someone

standing with His arms open

wide?

Have you ever...,

Felt that no one understands

how you feel?

I understand...

So does Jesus.

Have you ever...?

MNJ

Give this to a teenager! Please!

Newsletter: Regret... One of the greatest Killers...

Regret is a killer. Did you know that? It may seem silly but really, if you think about it Regret is killing people. Yeah, We slip and fall down... Sometimes we get hurt... But, you gotta choice. Do you know? You can either suck it up. Get over it. And follow God. Or you can sit there in the mud and wish that every one would feel as bad as you do. Face it, Yep you did something sooo bad. Get up and try again!!!! Don't let drag you down! You know... how dog poop smells awful, looks awful etc.?  When you sit there feeling miserable, your regret is rubbing dog poop in your face! And you just sit there allowing him! Turn them tables and rub his face in it! Meaning: Suck it up and get over it!!!!!!

Okay, Let me explain what I said earlier... Regret... one of the greatest killers. Think about it a moment before I go on. What do you think it means?

You sin. You mess up sooo bad. You wonder if anyone loves you now. I mean, "C'mon! I just messed up! Who can forget that!? Who can love me now? I am awful! Such a bad person! Everybody hates me! Nobody cares! I wish I was dead! Dead! DEAD!!!!"

How stupid can them Demons get???? Purty dumb! And guess what we listen!

You sin. You mess up sooo bad. You wonder if anyone loves you now. I mean, "C'mon! I just messed up! Who can forget that!? Who can love me now? I am awful! Such a bad person! Everybody hates me! Nobody cares! I wish I was dead! Dead! DEAD!!!!"
Do you know how Suicide came about? REGRET!!!!!!! Regret whispers those words to you. Reread those words above. Whenever, you mess up do you think that?

I'm a chicken! Really, I am. I am a scaredy-cat! I have thought that like, all my life?! I have tried to commit suicide. But really, I would get all terrified. I have tried suffocating, choking. I was to scared to shoot or hang myself. (besides I can't shoot!) Or drowning. I am a chicken!!!! I have tried starving. Didn't work. Cutting? Sheesh! Sound's painful. Boy, am I glad I chickened out! Otherwise, I would have never been able to help other teens or even adults! I am proud to say: "Yep, I was abused. Physically and spiritually. People have tried to murder me. Ha! They lost! Yep, my bio mother and father didn't "love" me. My mother never took classes to get me back! My father just signed the paper, giving up his parental rights! Big Deal! I am free! Free!!!!"

I refuse to believe that my bio mother and father didn't love me. I believe they loved me the best they could. My mother was only 15. My dad was only 16! Teenagers! They shouldn't have been parents that early! Hey, my mom could have aborted me! She could have. But she didn't. If I see her again. I want to say "Thanks, Thanks for EVERYTHING!!! You gave me life! Thank you so much!"

Life is so important. Why let Regret take it away? Please, Please, Please!!! Tell our Teenagers about this! Let them read this! This is written by a 13 year old teen for teens! This is my viewpoint! The way I look at things. I want them to see that God isn't for old people. If it is, count me old! I am gonna die prayin' and healing someone. Once I am dead that person will be totally healed and filled with God that he/she will be doin' the same thing! Yay!!! But that will be about 108 years from now. I am sayin' I will be a good 120 'fore I die!

Before I close, I wanna share something(z)! Just a "few". Don't roll your eyes at me!!! Hold your horses!!!

I was talking to God and milking the cow, And God told me this "Whoever said life was dull, has obviously never met Me." hahahahaha!!! It is soooooooooooooo true!


Another story,

Okay, Mom, SIL's brother, and I were praying for TJ, My little sister. We were castin' demon's out. (It wasn't as crazy as mine, but we'll get there soon.) What a lot of fun! If you want to know fun is... Cast demons out! There is nothing as fun as that! Anyhow, TJ had a demon of Rejection. And God told me something. Here it goes!

You have this awesome CD. You so want to listen to it! You stick it into your CD player and press play...but, your CD player is messed up so it scratches your CD and it just won't play! Your really bummed out. I mean, Seriously! You just bought this awesome CD, and then your CD play just ruins it!

You're the CD. People who have rejected you are the CD players. God puts you in there so He can listen to your awesome music. (God loves music! Rather it is Rock, Rap, Country, Dance, or just slow rhythmic music. As long as it is praising Him. He loves it!) Anyways, You are awesome. Totally Awesome!
 I can't be you and you can't be me so that is why your so awesome! We are totally different CDs. You maybe Rock and I am Rap or Pop. (same thing right? Rap and pop?)  Those people scratched and rejected you. It hurts huh?

So God's really bummed. He made you, now He wanted to listen to you but those people He stuck you with, tore you up. So God brings another person into your life. That person brings you to Him. You are saved! So you start to play your music. God listens and knows that He can't make a better you! You're His favorite CD. Some bad can turn into really good.

Witchcraft, has been apart of TJ's, MJ's (my big brother) and I's life. When I was little, My mother and Father (bio.) took the three of us to a wedding. Freaky one to say the least. I am gonna fast forward it, just because I don't feel like telling the whole story. he he! TJ was a little baby at that time, This guy walks up to her and touches her right side. Said something and walked away. Ever since, she had pains in that side at night. We cast that Demon out and it is gone! Yay! Yay! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you bored?  I have two songs to look up...

"Outcast" by kerri Roberts

"Dear Rex," by Disciple.

Youtube may have them. I don't know. I really like them.

Well,  I am done,
Me

P.S Print this out and give them to as many teens, adults or preteens as you can! Please!!!!!!!! I am begging! Give this to them and say "God loves you and so does this young teen." Because I do love them! Please!!!!!!
Thanks. Oh and don't forget to comment! I barely have ANY comments. I don't care if you tell me the ABC's! or 123! Just something! Anything! Thanks!!!