Alive... (and a little more about depression)

This little poem is about Depression, Hopelessness...etc.

The short story behind it was:
Earlier today, (like a couple of minutes ago.) I was sitting on the couch. Then I felt this fire racing through me. I have felt it before but then I heard... words. It was like a song playing in my head. I ran and grabbed a pencil and paper, sat down and expected to write... I DID WRITE. But I didn't control my hand. It was moving by itself. Awkward as it seems, I love it when that happens... Okay here is the poem:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alive

I'm alive...

but I'm not.

My heart is torn,

split into a million pieces.

Hard to fix this mess,

on my own.

I am crying out,

Can you hear it?

Lost, I am walking,

Is there such a feeling as "Happy"?

Down this road I walk,

darkness surrounds me.

Can you hear my

desperate cries?

I'm alive,

but I'm not.

Is there more to life

than breathing?

If so, Please show

me how to live...

I am broken inside...

A pain so intense.

Afraid to cry, because I

know, it won't be a single tear.

Can anyone hear me?

Can't anyone see my pain?

Listen while I cry?

Is there anyone I can trust?

Snared by depression,

Can I be set free?

Will you watch me soar up yonder?

Or, will you turn your back?

I understand,

I am not worthy...

This pain...

Agony grips me...

Depression strangles me...

Hate weighs me down...

Fear makes me stumble...

Hopelessness slaughters me...

Again and again.

Save me please...

I'm alive...

but, I'm not.

Is there any hope,

at all?

Can I close my eyes,

and hope that everything will be okay?

Bring meaning into my life,

so I don't end it...

So soon.

Break this chain.

Set me Free.

Is there more to life than

breathing?

Show me...

Please?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MNJ

For those who are depressed and don't believe anyone understands... I want to say I do. I have walked down that road. Yes, it is dark and lonely. Suicide isn't a way out. If you are depressed (or hurting deeply in other ways.) You CAN overcome it. Depression ISN'T a dead end... it is a beginning. It helps you build your faith. Knowing that you didn't overcome by yourself. I was a VERY depressed young girl... I have proof that I overcame it. I am more than willing to help/pray for ANYONE who is struggling right now. I don't pray to make me sound good. I pray to show others that God IS REAL!! And whatever you are going through right now, isn't a dead end. It doesn't mean that "Hey dude, your life is hopeless. The only way is to kill yourself.." Please, don't listen to that. Depression can either kill you or help you. It is all on your attitude about it and which god you listen to.

I guess I am done...

Thanks so much for reading!

MNJ

P.S

I do want to help in anyway I can! I want to make Satan so angry with me!