Our world has abused love. It tells all of us young teens, (and even younger!) that it is okay to go make out and have sex in the backseat. Have you ever heard the phrase "If you love me then you would _____." It is a way to manipulate someone into doing something that is probably not pleasing God. I have some manipulative friends that are 13-14 and they have a girlfriend or a boyfriend! I don't have one, so I am the target of, "Hey, let's get a boyfriend for you!" games. It drives me crazy, but I feel sorry for them. They are giving themselves away. Pieces of themselves that they will never get back. I have a story from a book I am reading right now and I would like to post it. It is by Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye:
"It was finally here-Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family. Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of stringed quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment in which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned and faced the altar.
But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.
Anna felt her lip beginning to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David.
"I'm...I'm sorry, Anna," he said, staring at the floor.
"Who are these girls, David? What is going on?" she gasped.
"They're girls from my past," he answered sadly. "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now... but I've given part of my heart to each of them."
"I thought your heart was mine," she said
"It is, it is," he pleaded. "Everything that's left is yours."
A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up."
I really LIKE this story. Whenever you "fall" for someone, you give parts of yourself away. Parts that can never be "Super Glued" back on. I have given a part of myself away... but I am now working on saving the rest of myself for my husband. My purity is very special, I want my husband to have ALL of it. I don't want to give pieces of myself away, then hurt him when I say "Yeah, did you know that my first REAL kiss was whenever I had my first boyfriend. Sorry, you should have showed up sooner." That message would have screamed "I don't really love you, I just wanted to see what it felt like to be married." It would leave our relationship torn and empty. I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day. It is possible.
Today I was talking with a friend of mine, and she said "If I want to get to know someone better, I would ask him to go out to the movies with me,"
"In a group? Or just you two?" I asked.
"Just the two of us," she explained," Why go in a group if you are trying to get to know him better. You want to meet him one on one."
"But, that is inappropriate," I said, "For a young woman trying to stay pure? Going to the movies? These are my beliefs."
We sat in silence a minute then she shrugged.
I finally just said "I guess we are raised very differently."
That is what I call foolish! If you are striving for purity, you do not go in a darkened room with a guy (or woman) alone! That is just foolish! But of course, this my opinion.
"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Timothy 2:22). I wouldn't put myself in a place of temptation. I might have the self-control to not do anything...But, that is not the point. The point is, I am supposed to flee the temptations. In other words, I would not go to the movies with a guy. Just me and a guy. That is setting me up for temptation, and it would cause him to sin.
I asked someone this question (he is struggling with purity in his relationship with his girlfriend)
"Do you want a girlfriend to hold and fondle temporarily, or do you want a wife to hold and fondle forever?"
He looked at me as if I had asked a stupid question, "A wife of course."
"Okay, let me ask another question,"
He raised his eyebrows.
"Your girlfriend would most likely not end up being your wife. How would you want your wife to be treated before marriage?"
He studied a moment, then looked at me, "I want her treated well."
"So, why are you fondling and holding a young woman that will most likely be someone else's wife?"
"I.. I don't know." he stammered.
"Treat this young woman as you would want some other guy to treat your wife. So, don't get your girlfriend violated and ruined, keep her safe and clean. That way she can reach her husband, pure. And your wife will reach you pure."
He nodded and stared off into the distance, then turned back to me, "So how do I tell what touch is okay and what touch is not okay?"
I thought a moment, "Well, when you touch her, in certain ways, what thoughts immediately start thinking?"
"Well, you know, sex... I guess..." He looked embarrassed.
"Okay so there is your answer. When those sexual thoughts come up, that is your red flag of "HEY! CAREFUL! THINGS ARE GETTING TOO HEATED!!!!!!!!!" So, therefore you should be on guard and watch for that flag."
He nodded.
"Does that make sense?" I asked.
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Your welcome." We smiled then we parted.
It is a sad world we live in... cartoons, movies, books, advertisements, and even music are now shouting "Love is sex." "Sex is pleasure." "Pleasure is all that matters." But really, love is not sex, sex is not all the pleasure in the world, and pleasure is not what matters. God is love, Loving God brings pleasure, and pleasure comes from God.
"Yeah but God never has fun! He doesn't understand what pleasures they're in the world!!!" You say.
Well, if God didn't know what fun was, then why did He create us? Why did He create man and woman? Why did He create love? Is this not fun? Sure, it is not movie/toy kind of fun. God is fun. God doesn't have fun when a man and a woman abuse sex outside of marriage. That hurts Him. God finds sex within marriage fun and pure! It is exciting! Sex was created to be a way of worshipping God in a marriage bed!
There is one person for you out there. I am pretty sure that you are destined to get married, (Unless God told you face to face that you shall be single and eat sushi for the rest of your life) then it is incredibly possible that you will marry someone. Trust me when I say this: Marriage is worth waiting for! Although I am not married, I know that it is worth waiting for. I have an exciting 5-6 years of waiting and preparing! I am not mature enough for a relationship, and I am sure I am not worthy enough for my future husband's love. I have messed up a little in my purity walk, but I am forgiven and that is all that matters!
Before I go, I recommend three purity authors: check 'em out! They are cool!
Joshua Harris's website (haven't looked at it) http://www.newattitude.com/
His books: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Boy Meets Girl, Welcome to Courtship!
Eric and Leslie Ludy and their website: http://www.whengodwrites.com/
Books: When God writes Your Love Story, When Dreams Come True, Authentic Beauty, God's Gift to Women, and Teaching True Love to a Sex-at-13 Generation
Elisabeth Elliot Gren and her books: A Chance To Die, On Asking God Why, The Journals of Jim Elliot, The Mark of a Man, Discipline: The Glad Surrender, and Passion and Purity
Thanks for reading this,
MNJ
